miss-nerdgasmz:

thtwhitegurrl:

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?

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(via baejesus)


itssexualhour:

my bf knows how to sail and stuff so we were going to fuck on a boat so when we sailed out to somewhere isolated we started making out pretty intensely and i kissed his neck and earlobe and whispered “aye aye captain” and he said “i can’t hear you” so i said it again and then he fucking went “oooooooooooooh” and started singing the fucking spongebob theme song i wanted to kill him

(Source: itssexualhour, via jigglyfarts)

WiFi:connected
Me:then fucking act like it

pilesofgryles:

whenever i hit the clubs bouncers be like “I.D. please”

image

no problem

(via baejesus)

primacdonaldsgirl:

pretending to study in front of ur parents like 

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(via thymegatampon)


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